Monday Evening Reports

There is sad news to report today. George Clooney's pot-bellied pig Max passed away. As I remeber the loss of my pig Andy, my thoughts are with him.

Gwenyth Paltrow is trying to claim her comments about Americans were taken out of contest. However, the magazine that published the quote says it was not altered and the full sentence was provided.

Rip Torn, the old guy in Dodgeball, was arrested for driving while intoxicated. His lawyers were Judge Judy's sons.

Eddie Murphy is claiming he is not the father of his ex-girlfriend Mel B's baby. (she's the former Scary Spice.) The paternity test will happen after the baby is born.

What newly engaged couple may already be calling it quits because of HER wandering eye? Whenever he is away, SHE is on the lookout for something quick and meaningless. He has caught her in the past, but this time SHE may have gone too far. Eva Longoria. The news is being reported on several low-key websites and the story should be breaking mainstream soon. I guess Tony Parker, 24, isn't the one that cheated afterall. One of her conquest may have been Keifer Sutherland.

• Madonna and Guy Ritchie have reportedly been seeing a marriage counsellor in a desperate bid to save their six-year union. Evidently her attitude and the new African adopted boy are to blame.

• Ashlee Simpson wants butt implants because her nose job went so well. I don't think that would be such a good idea. I hope she doesn't end up looking like the cat woman (the woman who had so much plastic surgery she looks like a cat).

• Kevin Federline spent 25K at a baby store for his children with Britney. Wonder where he is getting the money for that? Also of note, he has cleaned his image up and he has been looking nice, almost normal. Not one slip towards loser K-Fed. Let's hope that man is long gone and this new and improved K-Fed is here to stay, at least for the children's sake.

• Jenna Jameson may be engaged to UFC figther Tito Ortiz. I can't believe him. She's a PORN STAR!!!

• Nicole Kidman is not pregnant. Or so the report says.

• Tori Spellingis going to milk her family a little longer and write a tell-all book about her life.

• The "Prison break" star was drinking when he crashed his SUV killing someone. He is currently under investigation.